lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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