I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
