im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize