awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
