Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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