Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
