You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
