so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
In America we eat man semen.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
