very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
