Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
