It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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