chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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