Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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