My liver just broke up with me...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
