He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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