your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
