You're so nebulous sometimes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
