I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
