i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
