she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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