Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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