im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
