I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize