It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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