Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
