Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize