dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
