So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
