And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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