i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
