My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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