Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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