Soap is not a condiment
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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