it's too hot outside to masturbate.
...so i touched it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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