everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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