I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
