i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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