between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize