I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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