I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
