so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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