I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Quick, to the slutcave!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
