Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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