she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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