the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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