Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
