My first STD was from a foam party
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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