I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
