I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
