aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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