I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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