"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
