His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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