I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
