Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
