Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
