kristin has been a bad kristin
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
