who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
