JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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