hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize