it was like fucking gandolphs beard
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
