i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
