So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
