it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize