Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
one might say we're banned from that church
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
