sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
