two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize