im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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