No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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