I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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